getting high and almost drunk before 7pm is something unwise and foolish. then again, the almost-cheap thrill of becoming so, is undeniable.

so sue me. sitting on top that block of concrete, looking out at the serene skyline.. somehow i wanted something more. maybe that's why i took more than my fill. at double the speed. isn't it too easy w a debit card?

after so long. such barren desolate stark emptiness. such longing, such pain. when i finally thought, hey maybe this is a change. it doesn't turn out to be so. when you think you might want to fall, you realise you weren't ready at all.

so when would i be ready? when would things be right? when would i stop playing out my personal tragedies? when would Fate herself, stop making fun of me?

a broken heart doesn't need a person to be broken. disappointment, utter desolation, such is enough. self-destructiveness occurs once in awhile. a stick, a drink, a needle. implements of pain, implements of pleasure, implements of destruction.

out in the dark dark room, w music pounding and people dancing..there isn't room for a lonely soul or a broken man. what you feel is multiplied, manipulated and enhanced. because no one cares, no one gives a shit. not when they're high. and neither do you, not when you're high.